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2011 Dead Pool

His Daddy - 27
Carrie - 15
Seth - 14
Stephy - 13
Jay - 13

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5 January 2012 - 14:56Who Owned 2011?!

His Daddy's victory dance
His Daddy doing a victory dance!

That’s right — HIS DADDY!

After years and years of trying to become Death himself, His Daddy drove ahead with a sweeping victory over the dead pool contestants.  He was one of three players to have one of his picks expire in January, but quickly followed it up with picks in May and September.

He was the only player to have three of his full picks expire.  Many others had two.

Congratulations to His Daddy!  He’ll be received a nice bottle of The Macallan 12-Year Scotch for his victory.

The final totals were as follows:

His Daddy – 27
Carrie – 15
Seth – 14
Jay – 13 (tie)
Stephy – 13 (tie)
Scuba – 11
Kermit – 7 (tie)
Roger – 7 (tie)
Summer – 7 (tie)
Bouche – 5 (tie)
Fitzie – 5 (tie)
James Fury – 5 (tie)
Kellie – 5 (tie)
Maria – 5 (tie)
Sarajaynerxo9 – 5 (tie)
Sugarbear – 5 (tie)
Gregyfresh – 0
Jess – 0
Sam – 0
Tim – 0

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18 January 2011 - 23:33The 2011 Dead Pool Official Selections

It was a helluva race last year, and it’s shaping up to be a HUGE game this year!  Even before we could finish this post, one team has earned 12 points!  That’s right, from the time Steph sent her in picks to the time we posted this, one of her picks kicked the bucket.

Does that mean Guy is not in the running this year?  Does this mean that Seth should be shaking in his size 13′s?

Take a look below and see how the kids wagered this year.

BTW — red = dead

The Angels

Player Picks Rubber Corpse
Bouche Zsa Zsa Gabor, Kirk Douglas, Aretha Franklin, Jack Klugman, Ernest Borgnine Nancy Reagan
Carrie Elizabeth Taylor, Fidel Castro, Lindsay Lohan, Andy Rooney, Michael Douglas Zsa Zsa Gabor
Fitzie Fidel Castro, Kirk Douglas, Robert Duvall, Kim Jong Il, Eli Wallach Zsa Zsa Gabor
James Fury Richard Simmons, Leif Garret, Betty White, Kirk Douglas, Queen Elizabeth Al Davis
Kellie Kirk Douglas, Betty White, Peter O’Toole, Nelson Mandela, Nancy Reagan Mickey Rooney
Maria Gene Wilder, Kirk Douglas, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Aretha Franklin, Billy Graham Owen Wilson
Sara Betthy White, Morgan Freeman, Hugh Hefner, Andy Griffith, Jimmy Carter Miley Cyrus
Sugarbear Kirk Douglas, Penny Marshall, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Dick Cheney, Eli Wallach Michael J. Fox

The Devils

Player Picks Rubber Corpse
Gregyfresh Kirk Douglas, Jean Kennedy, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Jerry Lewis, Dick Clark Fidel Castro
Guy Oscar Niemeyer, Michael Douglas, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Betty Ford, Billy Graham Harry Morgan
His Daddy Zsa Zsa Gabor, Kirk Douglas, Dolores Hope, Sargent Shriver, Jeff Conaway Stephen Hawking
Jay Zsa Zsa Gabor, Kirk Douglas, Kim Jong Il, Jerry Lewis, Elizabeth Taylor Joaquin Phoenix
Jess Chuck Berry, Aretha Franklin, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Douglas Kirk Douglas
Kermit Aretha Franklin, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Betty Ford, Jerry Lewis, Dick Clark Ernest Borgnine
Roger Dick Clark, Sean Connery, Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse, Betty White Tommy Lee Jones
Sam Bob Barker, Michael Douglas, Doris Day, Nancy Reagan, Dick Cheney Robin Williams
Scuba Michael Douglas, Dick Clark, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Elizabeth Taylor, Johnny Pesky Chuck Berry
Seth Jack LaLanne, Don Pardo, Roman Totenberg, Douglas Slocombe, Patty Andrews Andy Rooney
Stephy Zsa Zsa Gabor, Aretha Franklin, Gerry Rafferty, Ayatollah Ali-Khameni, Fergie Frederiksen Kim Jong Il
Summer Zsa Zsa Gabor, Michael Douglas, Aretha Franklin, Bruce Sundlun, Oscar Niemeyer Fidel Castro
Tim Dick Clark, George H.W. Bush, BB King, Dick Van Dyke, Chuck Berry Andy Griffith

Remember, if they’re in red, they’re dead!

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7 January 2011 - 23:04And the 2010 winner is….

Seth is our 2010 Winner

All hail Seth! Prognosticator of Death for 2010!

SETH!

We thought Guy had the lead, but that’s because we gave him credit for Kirk Douglas.  For some reason it was entered into our databases that Kirk Douglas died on Dec. 1st, when in actuality he’s still alive!

That means if you take two points away from Guy’s 17 points (1 for the December death, and 1 because Guy’s a devil), Guy comes in 2nd with 15 points.  Congratulations Seth on being the most morbid prognosticator on the web!  If you want to double-check our math, you can see who everyone picked here.

The final scores are as follows:

Player Type Points
Seth Angel 16
Guy Devil 15
C-Boz Devil 13
MillieJOW Devil 13
HisDaddy Devil 13
Dawn Devil 9
Kermit Devil 7
Carrie Devil 7
Fitzie Angel 5
Jim Angel 5
Kellie Angel 5
Noel Angel 5
Summer Angel 5
Andy Angel 5
Barry Angel 5
Fil Angel 5
Jared Angel 5
Maria Angel 5
Sara Angel 5
Bouch Devil 0
Scuba Devil 0
Jack Devil 0
Jodi Devil 0
Sugarbear Devil 0

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31 December 2010 - 14:55Get Your 2011 Picks In!

Okay, the 2011 Dead Pool season is upon us, and we need your picks NOW!

You get to pick five celebrities who may  die in 2011.  If they do, you get points.  If they don’t you may or may not get points.  You can see the official rules and regulations click here, or on that Dead Pool  link at the top of the screen.

Rumor on the street is that this year’s game is being sponsored by the brainiacs over at Foolosopher Trivia!

To submit your picks – send an email to daddy@hisdaddy.com complete with your five regular picks, your rubber pick, and whether you are an angel or a devil.

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31 December 2010 - 14:47Getting Down To The Wire

He who will not be spoken is coming for your picks!

There are just a handful of hours left in 2010, which means we could see a big upset, or we could see Guy win  yet again in his THIRD Dead Pool victory!  (well, his first was a co-victory, technically)

We’ve updated the standings below and over to the right, and you can see that Guy leads, but not by much.  Overall, the Devils are leading over the Angels.  This is killing us.  Get it?  Killing us?

Player Type Points
Seth Angel 16
Guy Devil 15
C-Boz Devil 13
MillieJOW Devil 13
HisDaddy Devil 13
Dawn Devil 9
Kermit Devil 7
Carrie Devil 7
Fitzie Angel 5
Jim Angel 5
Kellie Angel 5
Noel Angel 5
Summer Angel 5
Andy Angel 5
Barry Angel 5
Fil Angel 5
Jared Angel 5
Maria Angel 5
Sara Angel 5
Bouch Devil 0
Scuba Devil 0
Jack Devil 0
Jodi Devil 0
Sugarbear Devil 0

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19 April 2010 - 16:23An Interview With The Hovitos Chief

Chief Hochohovito, circa 1936

Chief Jimpaba Hochohovito was the man who ruled the Hovitos tribe of Peru for over fifty years.  He saw many changes to the Peruvian jungle, and countless archaeologists attempt to steal the treasures of his empire.

One particular incident that irks him to this day is the clumsy and destructive raid on a Chachapoyan temple by Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr. back in 1936.  We asked Chief Hochohovito if he would discuss with us his experiences as a Hovitos chief, and in particular that fateful day when Dr. Jones visited his neighborhood.

HD:  Chief Hochohovito, thank you so much for meeting with us.

CH:  Please, call me Jimmy.

HD:  Jimmy?  I must admit Chief, your English is incredible.  You have a perfect American accent.

Dr. Henry Walton “Indiana” Jones, Jr., undated file photo

CH:  Well I did go to college in Ohio.  I’m a Buckeye, you know.

HD:  No kidding?  A Buckeye?

CH:  My father insisted that my brothers and I get a good education.  It’s hard to be the chief of a jungle civilization if you don’t understand finance and contracts.  You know, all those logging rights and government grants?  Tons of annoying paperwork and if you just miss dotting one I or crossing one T suddenly you’ve got a thousand people without electricity, you know?

HD:  Electricity?

CH:  What?  Because I wear a loincloth I can’t use an electric mixer?

HD:  Well no, I just figured being this far out from civilization…

CH:  I get to fish every day, the air is clean, I see probably a thousand times more stars than you do at night, and we have a zero percent crime rate here in the jungle.  Can you top that, sir?

HD:  No.  No actually, I can’t.

CH:  So there you go.

HD:  This is definitely enlightening and I appreciate your candor, Chief Hochoho…

CH:  Please, Jimmy.  Just Jimmy.

HD:  Yes, sorry Jimmy.  Before I forget, let’s talk about Indiana Jones.

CH:  “Indiana” Jones?  That son of a bitch, really?  His name is Henry for Christ’s sake!  He’s a Hank!  Pretty sure he wasn’t even born in Indiana.  Besides, what the fuck is Indiana romantic for?  Goldfish?  You know the first goldfish farm in the world was started in Indiana, right?  Raiders of the Lost Goldfish.  Yeah, really macho.

HD:  Dr. Jones was born in New Jersey, I guess.  His dad was a professor at Princeton at the time and…

CH:  RAIDERS OF THE LOST GOLDFISH!  Christ.  Indiana Jones and the Hoosiers of Doom?  Don’t get me started.

HD:  Okay, so tell me about the day he explored the Chacha… how do I say this?

CH:  The day he desecrated the Chachapoyan Temple, you mean?

HD:  Yes, the Chachapoyan Temple.

CH:  Is was a really fucking hot morning.  My oldest kid was puking every ten minutes from some bad milk and the hut reeked.  Ever sit in a hut when it’s like 120 degrees out and the floor is coated in puke?  It’s nasty.

HD:  Sounds disgusting.

The Chachapoyan fertility idol

CH:  It was disgusting.  Needless to say, I feel bad for the little kid, but I’m grumpy.  Then one of my warriors by the name of Xomec comes to the door and tells me three guys are slashing through the jungle and they’re going to try to steal our fertility idol from the temple.  Can you believe that?

HD:  Well, I did see the movie.

CH:  The movie.  Fuck me.  Makes Jones look like a hero.  If I broke into your house and rolled your television down your stairs smashing everything to bits would I be a fucking hero?  Answer me that.

HD:  Well, no.

CH:  Precisely.

[Chief Hochohovitos takes a long drag from his cigarette and sighs.]

CH:  So I now have to find a babysitter for my kid, which is pretty near impossible in such a subsistence economy, you know?  But I get one and get my spear and call up my warriors and now we’ve gotta go trudging through the jungle to find these idiots and send them home.  In the meantime, this Frenchman by the name of Belloq is in our village on a research grant and he says he’ll come with in case they don’t speak English.

HD:  Rene Belloq?!?

CH:  Yeah, I know.  Don’t get me started.  But yes, that Belloq.  So we saddle up and march off into the jungle.  Just as we get to the temple door one of the guys standing there wheels around on me with a rifle.  Before I can say anything he aims at me and my guys fire like a billion arrows and blowdarts into his back to protect me.  We’re not there five seconds and already we’ve got an international incident, you know?

HD:  Wow.

The temple’s protective boulder rolling into place just behind Dr. Jones.

CH:  I tell all my guys to hold their horses because we don’t need anymore bloodshed at this point.  Just as I’m saying that, we all feel this powerful rumbling, and instantly I feel like I’m going to throw up.

HD:  Did you get hit with a blowdart?

CH:  No, nothing like that.  I knew immediately what the rumbling was, and now the shit’s hit the fan.  It meant that one of the idiots inside took the idol and triggered this defense mechanism which is immediately going to trash the temple and seal it off with this huge boulder.

HD:  Oh, right.

CH:  No, you don’t get it.  That boulder was probably twenty tons, and it’s carved to just fit the entrance tunnel.  Once that rock’s in place we can’t enter the temple without chipping the thing into pebbles.  It took probably about fifty years to carve it.  It’s easily going to take us twice that long to break it apart to get back in the temple and clean things up.  It means the two guys inside are dead meat and now everything’s gone all to shit.

[Chief Hochohovitos finishes his cigarette and taps the table between us.]

HD:  But Jones got out.

CH:  Of course he got out.  It’s like he can’t die or something.  Guy’s an asshole and an idiot and he survives falling out of a plane with a fucking rubber raft, and survives a nuclear explosion by hiding in a Frigidaire.  Meanwhile, my kid drinks bad milk and fills my floor with puke.  I don’t know what the fuck I did that Karma gives Jones a handjob while it punches me in the pants.

HD:  I thought Belloq hired you to help him steal the idol?

CH:  Belloq?  Oh hell no.  Jones could have had the idol on loan if he just asked for it politely!  For centuries my people had to go into that temple every day to polish that statue.  Ever see the size of the spiders in that place?!?  We walk barefoot, you know.  Nobody likes walking barefoot through caverns filled with cat-sized spiders, my friend.  We’d have loved to have loaned the idol to him for a while.  Would have been a nice break for us, and maybe generated some nice scratch to pay for a new generator or maybe some aluminum canoes.

Dr. Jones did actually survive a fall using a rubber raft.

HD:  But didn’t Belloq steal the idol?

CH:  No, not at all.  In fact, he had no idea the idol was there.  As soon as he saw it he figured he’d get even bigger grants if he brought it back to Europe so we penned a deal that let the Louvre Museum borrow it for twenty years for about a thousand francs a year.  It was a sweet deal and everybody made out well.

HD:  Except Jones.

CH:  Fuck Jones!  He trashed the temple and just before I could talk to him he bolts off into the jungle!  My guys chased him to the river but he had a plane waiting for him and he took off.  No “I’m sorry” or offer to clean up or anything.  Total dick move.

HD:  What happened then?

CH:  What do you mean?  What was I going to do, hike off across my country and go a few thousand miles to sue the guy?  He wasn’t coming back anytime soon and legally we were up Shit’s Creek.  It’s not like the United States trembled under the wrath of the Peruvian legal system back in the 30′s you know?

HD:  I’m sorry to hear that.

CH:  Yeah, well me too.  Anyway, we finally got the rock chipped out a few years ago and the place is back in shape.  The idol’s back inside but you know how many visitors we get each year?

HD:  No idea.

CH:  None.  All that bullshit we went through and the thing generates not even one dollar in tourism every year.  That whole project cost us a fortune and for what?  Nada.

[Chief Hochohovitos is currently on a tour promoting his new book, "Jimmy: The Life of a Jungle Chief," and is in discussions with Warner Brothers to create a movie about his life.]

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27 March 2010 - 2:53I Really Don’t Like MillieJOW

But, we WAS robbed!

So with this year’s Dead Pool I knew I had a lock: that old creepy lady from Poltergeist was absolutely on Death’s door, and I was going to sneak into first place and not look back.  And I did, albeit a few days late.

Only MillieJOW snuck in right behind me!

Millie lives in probably the best part of Florida, every night slinging drinks to happy people with loud, happy music.  She’s got a great place to live and great weather and if ever there was someone borrowing heavily from the Bank of Karma, it would be her.  But it was an absolute punch in the pants for me to take such a huge, important early lead only to have her pee all over it literally HOURS LATER!

J.D. freaking Salinger died only hours after Mrs. Creepy, and guess who picked him to die?  Fats Florida.

I feel like Millie’s avatars should be of famous gamblers and hustlers — Kenny Rogers, Paul Newman, or even Jackie Gleason.  I got played.  I got rooked.

I’m wondering… maybe I should start putting up Facebook fan pages to Millie, and trying to make her famous so that I can pick her as one of my choices for next year?  Maybe that’s how I’ll finally beat her?

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1 January 2010 - 0:02The 2010 Dead Pool – Official Selections

Yep, those morbid contestants have put some serious thought into it, and have decidedly prognosticated upon which famous people around the world will not make it through 2010.

The names are from all over: actors, musicians, politicians, scientists, criminals — you name it!  All people that have made plenty of headlines, and are now expected to be getting some headstones.

So without further ado, we bring you the official selections of the 2010 HisDaddy.com Dead Pool!

BTW — red = dead

The Angels

Player Picks Rubber Corpse
Andy Wayne Newton, Dick Clark, Julie Andrews, Peter O’Toole, Tom Smothers Jack Nicklaus
Barry Sean Connery, Colin Powell, Matt Lauer, Gary Sinese, Larry King Katie Couric
Fil Amy Winehouse, BB King, Dick Clark, Lindsay Lohan, Little Wayne Nancy Reagan
Fitzie Elizabeth Edwards, Muhammed Ali, Fidel Castro, Kirk Douglas, Willie Nelson Lindsay Lohan
Jared Dustin Diamond, Bobby Brown, Jean Claude van Damme, Donald Sutherland, Treat Williams Steve-O
Jim Steve-O, Lindsay Lohan, Kirk Douglas, Mickey Rooney, Dick Clark Flavor Flav
Kellie Kirk Douglas, Betty White, Peter O’Toole, Nelson Mandela, Nancy Reagan Mickey Rooney
Maria Gene Wilder, Elizabeth Taylor, Bob Barker, Betty White, Liza Minnelli Kanye West
Noel Rush Limbaugh, Lindsay Lohan, Queen Elizabeth II, Kirk Douglas, Amy Winehouse Fidel Castro
Sara Andy Griffith, Fidel Castro, Keith Richards, Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman Lindsay Lohan
Seth Andy Rooney, Elizabeth Taylor, John Forsythe, Bob Barker, Tony Curtis Amy Winehouse
Summer Zsa Zsa Gabor, Nancy Reagan, Fidel Castro, Kirk Douglas, Jack LaLanne Billy Graham

The Devils

Player Picks Rubber Corpse
Bouch Dick Clark, Elizabeth Taylor, Roger Ebert, Kirk Douglas, Pete Doherty Fidel Castro
Carrie Fidel Castro, Nancy Reagan, George Steinbrenner , Michael Lohan, Jodie Sweetin Kim Jong Il
C-Boz Jack LaLanne, Barbara Billigsley, Kirk Douglas, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Lena Horne Kyle Busch
Dawn Dennis Hopper, Jack Klugman, Bernard Madoff, Billy Graham, Nancy Reagan Joaquin Phoenix
Guy Gloria Stuart, John Forsythe, Kirk Douglas, Muhammad Ali, Ernest Borgnine Fidel Castro
His Daddy Zelda Rubinstein, Ronnie Biggs, Stephen Hawking, Pauline Phillips (Dear Abby), Sargent Shriver Annette Funicello
Jack Amy Winehouse, Fidel Castro, The Pope, Sylvester Stallone, Michael J. Fox Bernard Madoff
Jodi Dolores Hope, Andy Rooney, Betty Ford, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Barbara Kent Liz Taylor
Kermit Nancy Reagan, Kirk Douglas, Eli Wallach, Betty Ford, George Steinbrenner Dick Clark
MillieJOW Kirk Douglas, Jack Klugman, Fidel Castro, Betty Ford, JD Salinger Jerry Lewis
Scuba Zsa Zsa Gabor, Amy Winehouse, Kirk Douglas, Michael J. Fox, Latoya Jackson Jerry Lewis
Sugarbear Nelson Mandella, Eli Wallach, Betty Ford, Mickey Rooney, Dick Clark Johnny Pesky

Note: we’ll be linking to more celebrity bios soon — this is painstaking!

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1 January 2010 - 0:01Congratulations GUY (You Ass!)

Guy once again astounded funeral home managers everywhere with his incredible nose for picking the dwindling lifespans of the famous.  For the second year in a row, Guy is the HisDaddy.com Dead Pool Champion!

Prizes will be announced soon (as soon as our sponsors get over their guilt of sponsoring a Dead Pool) — but unfortunately for Guy, the first place prize isn’t a kiss on the mouth by HisDaddy, like he asked.

The final tally for 2009 went like this:

18 points – Guy (first place)
12 points – Bouch (second place)
11 points – Jay (third place)
9 points – Adam, MillieJOW
5 points – Meem
4 points – Kendall
0 points – Andy, Fil, HisDaddy, Kellie, Kermit, Lamont, Noel

Congratulations to everyone who finished much higher than Andy, Fil, HisDaddy, Kellie, Kermit, Lamont, and Noel — who all apparently suck at this.

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